What classic love, what high romance
can launder offspring underpants?
What epic ecstasies ignite
when siblings cholic in the night?
Ah children, you are dear indeed,
beloved bewilderment of seed
so quickly sown, so slowly reaped,
so cull that great, assorted heap
of favors lavished on your youth.
We love you, but to tell the truth,
unravished, we're a trifle glum,
yes, somewhat jealous of your thumbs
Children, cling like rose to trellis,
cherished, but can someone tell us,
Did Juliet have one of these?
Did Abelard? Did Heloise?
"If Instead of Apes
We Had Come from Grapes"
is a book of light verse
written and illustrated
by Alan Van Dine