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Letters to the Times (1)

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
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The New York Times doesn’t like to publish my querulous letters, so I’ve decided to publish them myself. Since newspaper circulations keep shrinking while the audience for this web site has increased by over a billion percent since last year, when it didn’t exist, I may soon be able to cut them out of the loop entirely. Here’s the latest.

 
To the Editor

Re: “Reckoning with Grass’s Reckoning of Nazi Past” (Aug. 29): Robert Galford’s letter on the subject (Sept. 5) prescribes, “Best practices would suggest that full disclosure, and the earlier the better, is most successful in mitigating these negative effects.”

Okay, I’m ready to admit my past mistakes. Where do I take them? Who will publish my youthful indiscretions?

Until you’re a big name, there’s no place to discuss your dirty secrets except employment applications, and they don’t ask — unless you have a criminal record, in which case it’s already public. For anything else, you would have to append an unwanted essay: “My Past Mistakes.”

Do that and you don’t get the job. If you’re Gunter Grass, you don’t get published. You avoid the problem of blighting your brilliant legacy by never having a brilliant legacy to begin with.

If, instead, you go ahead and make your mark, then it’s too late. You’ve missed your chance to miss your chance.

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Want Ads

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

Author’s Query

I am writing a book about the Lost Dutchman mine and would appreciate information as to its whereabouts.

Fire Sale!

     At Aristotle’s Lyceum, we’re liquidating remnants
     from our recent Water Sale to clear the decks for
     the annual Earth Sale and Air Sale.

     Everything you could possibly need!

     Everything marked down!

SPECIAL!

Postal Dust

Sprinkle this fine, non-toxic powder on your front porch to reveal the mailman’s tracks and see if he is short-cutting through the hedges or flower garden. Pet Safe, Child Safe. In chalk white or prussian blue, $10.50.

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